"I know," he says softly, and when he sees what Tom is doing to his hand he reaches out and takes it in his own, rubbing at the marks with his thumb as if trying to blot them out. He understands the anger, better than he'd like. Another reason why he doesn't give what was done to Neil much thought is that he knows, if he did, the banked-down rage he feels would become massive, infernal. It would be dangerous. It would make being with Neil painful rather than a pleasure. He's felt rage like that before.

He shakes his head and smiles, tiny and sad, lifting Tom's hand to his mouth and kissing the back of it. "You can use it whenever you want," he says. "You know that."