There aren't any words in the sound he makes, even half-formed ones; it's loose and liquid, and he feels his face twist into a grimace that might look like pain--but Neil's mouth is heaven, it has been since the beginning, and he lets go against it.

His hand has left Neil's head but not the rest of him, and his fingers trace a broken line across his shoulders, nails digging briefly into his skin in a way that's more instinctive than intentional.

He'll come back for this, yes. But the truth is that this is only part of what he'll come back for.