"I'm not gonna fuck you to make a point," he says. Something very strange is happening: instead of feeling less like the version of him that left the Realm and more like the version of him that died on a beach in a pocket universe--or more like one and less like the other--he's feeling more and more like both at once.

More and more like himself.

"And I'm not gonna fuck you for a safety valve." He releases Neil's hand, still gentle. And his voice is, too, but there's hardness behind it. "I'm not ready. Don't push me, Neil. Please."