"This was never gonna be easy." He could give in, shove the chair back, practically fucking launch himself forward. He doesn't even know what he'd do when he reached Neil; there is no quick way to fix this, not with sex or sleep or simple fucking touch.

But that doesn't mean he doesn't want to try.

"Can't you just--" He drops his fork onto the tabletop with a clatter--a spike of frustration and pain and regret like a physical cramp, there and agonizing and gone again. "Can't we just be together? Can't you just be with me? I know you fucking want more, I do too, but could that just be... enough? For now?"