Laughter pushes up out of him before he can help it, so he doesn't even try. Every time. Every fucking time. It was absurd when everything began and it's getting no less absurd as time goes on.

Then again, absurdity was the name of the game even when things were good. Maybe the happiness was always the most absurd part of any of it.

"So this is what we get. Forever, maybe. Don't you ever get pissed at me for saying I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not." He swipes a hand over his face, wiping tears away--from laughter or not, he doesn't fucking know.

"I thought... for a while, last night, it wasn't hurting as much."