"Shit, Neil..." he breathes, and all of it is pounding against the inside of his chest like his heart has been replaced by a throbbing knot made of all the words he can't make himself say. Love baby sweetheart I'm so sorry come here and let's erase all of it smudge it all out like lines on the beach let's not be this stupid all over again

He shoves himself up out of his chair and it's like a replay of last night, except he doesn't drop to his knees this time. This time he stands, reaches down and cups Neil's face with both hands, tilting it up, leaning down and sealing their mouths together. It's soft, careful and nearly chaste, and Neil tastes like pancake batter, subtly sweet. And it's also burning him, God, like a hot coal against his skin. He half believes it'll leave marks.

In the end he always ends up breaking all the rules.