"Fuck off," I say with a bark of laughter, nudging him lightly in the ribs with my elbow.

But then, my laughter dies and something in my gut twists. I can never really get a handle on how I'm feeling, one moment to the next. It's exhausting.

"Sam won't tell him. He's all about sharing and shit, or at least he used to be, but not about this. Not... not right now."