"I know that." He shakes his head slightly, as much as he can half-leaning on her--but at least tears aren't threatening the way they were before.

It's not that he feels more in control. It's more that he feels... numb.

"It's not even that. I know he wouldn't blame me. It's that... I hurt him before. I never wanted to do that again. And it was like a fucking nightmare. Like he wasn't even there anymore."