"I never thought he and I were fucking... destined to be together or whatever. Figured I'd bite it and he'd go home to his girl and have a million kids. So when he..." He trails off and rakes his free hand through his hair, not quite looking at Neil. "When we got together, part of it never felt real. Not even after we got married. And he and I were so different, and there's a lot about me that I think he never really got. Never woulda got. No matter how hard he tried."

He looks up again, finally meets Neil's gaze. It's not hard, not really. But it's almost enough to pull the breath out of him.

"I loved him - I love him - more than I'm ever gonna know how to handle. Forever. But you... You said something about soulmates once. I'm pretty sure that sounds like bullshit, but... I don't think I ever had to explain anything to you. You know me. It's like you always have."