"I didn't face up to it, I gave it exactly what it fucking wanted. And the kicker is it probably wasn't even real before we got down there." He closes his eyes and the world bleeds away into rust. "It was the shit I was afraid might be in me, but that's all it was. I was never that bad. I was bad, but..."

He makes a fist, his nails digging into his palm. "I gave it what it wanted, I became it, and that saved us. I don't regret it. It's part of me now. But I can only say yes to it so many times. And this thing... it's feeding it. I can feel it. It's getting stronger. And sooner or later..."

He opens his eyes, turns. "This is too much. I like it too much. Neil, I can do the worst fucking shit now and sleep just fine, but I know it now - I could never sleep easy with what I could become. So we find out what's involved, what gets this shit outta my blood, and we do it."