"Am I insane?" I say, looking at him like he's just said the fucking stupidest shit ever.

"You think I'd let you go someplace without me, if I had a fuckin' choice? We're supposed to be in this shit together. Everything, that was the fuckin' deal, and you're just... You're not letting me, anymore. I'm losing these pieces of you, and yeah, you fuckin' should be scared."

Leaning back against the island counter, I scrub a hand over my face, feeling humiliatingly, pathetically, like I've been betrayed. If he'd fucked someone else, I'm not completely sure it would've felt worse than this. I'm not sure I'd have felt more inadequate and stupid than I do right now, waiting up for him at home with his daughters sleeping upstairs, while he was off doing what he had to do. What he wanted to do.

"Who was it?" I ask quietly, hating myself for the question, but it's out there and I can't take it back. I know it wasn't Spike. Oddly enough, I trust that he wouldn't have let it happen in the first place.