He almost laughs again, because suddenly it really is so goddamn funny. That after everything that's happened and everything he's allowed himself to become, after letting the part of himself that was frightened by everything be destroyed, this is still something he can't seem to shake.

There are places he knows he can't go with Neil. But those borders have been expanding, slowly, without him even really being aware of it.

You weak little idiot, whispers something with awful eyes and far too many teeth. That was not part of the deal.

"So maybe I should. Let you."