"I know." He ducks his head briefly, gritting his teeth, fighting back that spike of rage when it threatens again. He could still break things if he slipped up. He could maybe break people, in a bad enough moment. He's still weaker than he was before all this shit happened, but he's stronger now. Getting more so.

Strange. He never thought he'd ever be dangerous again.

"I'm trying. I'm..." He lets out a sound, grating and desperate, tightening his hand on Neil's wrist. "Fucking touch me, then."