forthedog | And we shall call it...

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neil

And we shall call it...

The bike roars under him. It feels amazing. It's like it's always just seconds from slipping out of his control, and at the same time he feels completely in possession of it.

In other words it's a lot like everything else.

Neil's warm against his back and as they round a bend in the road the last edge of the sun is going down through the trees in front of them. It's not a huge way outside the city but it's far enough that for a few moments he can entertain the fantasy that there's no city at all, that with the stripped trees and the deserted road they're back in the Realm again and a great many things are simpler.

In many ways it's not a nice fantasy. But he does entertain it.

He slows as the trees close in; they're still a mile or so away but he wants to enjoy the road. He turns his head, catches a glimpse of Neil out of the corner of his eye. "You okay back there?"

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"Shit, this isn't gonna be as easy as callin' in a favor with the buildin' crew," I realize, 'cause all of this feels a hell of a lot more adult than it did on the island. Actual money involved, loans and contractors and inspections and mortgage payments and whatever the fuck else.

"We'll have space for a garden, again. It feels weird, not havin' one."

"Yeah," he murmurs. "We will." That had been in his mind, too, when he'd first stood out here and made his final decision. Moving forward... but embracing the past.

Giving himself permission to do so.

"Never really got it before... but I miss that. Back there, there's just not enough shit growing."

"Could've gotten one of those fuckin' window boxes," I point out with a smirk, knowing it wouldn't have been the same.

"I don't miss all the fuckin' bugs. All that fuckin' humidity. But havin' a yard... havin' space again? It'll be good."

"More than good." His hand slips away from Neil's neck, down to curl around his fingers. "I was standing here, day I decided to sign, and I was thinking..." He laughs, shaking his head. "Fuck, I don't even know what I was thinking, except I think it was actually about the girls. Thinking this is great but it's a lot for just two people. It's like some part of me knew."

He points up to a particularly large oak that stands just at the edge of where the trees get thicker, a towering black shape in the dark. "I'm gonna build 'em a treehouse in that one."

"How long you been plannin' this?" I ask, grinning crookedly, 'cause I honestly didn't see it coming. I thought, down the road, we'd plan for this sorta thing, but this... It's not hard at all to imagine a house, a garden, a treehouse... all of it.

"They're gonna fuckin' love it."

"Not that long. Told you, I only did it like a few days before Christmas. Before that... I dunno, couldn't have been more than a week."

The ground is sloping more, the lake expanding as they emerge from under the trees. The water is very still, almost glass-like, silent against the bank.

"I was talking to Andrea, saying I had no idea what the fuck to get for you... and then I started thing about what you really wanted." He gives Neil's hand a squeeze. "What I really wanna give you."

"You're such a fuckin' sap," I say, grinning stupidly and dropping my face to his shoulder, half to hide it in the holds of his coat.

It has nothin' to do with the money, but considering what it really means, I think it's safe to say that this is the most amazing thing anybody's ever given me.

"Like you're not." He slows, stops, looking out over the water. Until now, here with Neil pressing against him, this didn't feel real. Not like it does now. He releases Neil's hand, curls an arm around his shoulders again and pulls him closer.

"This is where I decided to come home," he says quietly. "Not, like, right here. Across the way there." He gestures to the lights of the farmhouse a little way across the water. "Didn't know it was home, then. I just knew I had to go back."

"I half expected you to never come back again," I admit with a cough of laughter and swallowing past a sudden tightness in my throat.

"Guess there's somebody livin' there now, huh?"

"Looks like." He's quiet for another moment, listening to the stillness, how silent the trees are without birds, like everything is sleeping. And then it occurs to him that spring is coming. Real spring. The most real spring he's experienced in... maybe over a decade.

"I know we had a house before. But this feels different, doesn't it?"

"The Tree never really felt like mine," I admit, leaning back against him, my eyes drifting shut. It's cold, but not painfully, and this close to him, I hardly notice.

"And the new house, I had for... Fuck, like two weeks. Too fuckin' bad, it was kinda awesome."

"I don't think it would feel like mine now, anyway," he murmurs. There's a sharp bite of irony behind it - he did burn it down, after all - but it's also true.

"It's like... It's time for something new."

"We gonna have a pool? A tennis court, you think?" I tease, the faded tension in my chest clinching a little tighter at that tone in his voice.

"A whole separate wing for the girls. Somewhere for the nanny to sleep, right?"

He breathes out a laugh. "Nanny can sleep with the goddamn butler." He turns, pulling Neil more fully into his arms, pushing hair off his brow with cool fingers.

"Or a houseboy. You're getting a little old for me."

"Long as you don't mind that I'm fuckin' the elderly gardener," I snort. "You've always been a little young for me."

"Just give me time." He nips lightly at Neil's bottom lip. "Long as you don't mind if I'm also banging the nanny. Though now I'm kinda wondering what kind of household that'd be to raise kids in."

Like it hadn't been more than a little unconventional to begin with.

"Fuck no, the nanny's off limits," I decide, just to be contrary, grinning against his lips and hanging onto the front of his coat.

"It'd probably be Mathias, anyway, and he'll only fuck you if you've got tits."

"Too bad." The words are coming out a little more heated and then so is the kiss, one hand settling on Neil's hip, and he's freshly aware of how alone they are out here.

And he can't pretend he hadn't been thinking about that before.

"I brought a sleeping bag," he breathes.

"Yeah?" I breathe, suddenly a hell of a lot warmer than I was a few minutes ago. We're out in the open, but it's our grass. Our strip of land. Our trees. It's like it finally hits me, we've got a place that's ours, and there's no fuckin' way I wanna go back to the apartment, just yet.

"Why'd you go and do a thing like that?"

"'Cause I can't keep my goddamn hands off of you." He grins and pulls back suddenly, already moving back up the slope. "And I'm an optimist. You gotta know that by now."

Laughing, I say, "You know, you didn't have to come all the way out here with a sleepin' bag if you wanted to get laid."

But that's not what we're doing out here, and I haven't forgotten that.

"Yeah, 'cause I'm really fucking starved when it comes to getting laid anyway." He reaches back, closes a hand around the back of Neil's neck and lightly shoves him forward - half playful and, and always, half not.

"Didn't want you to be cold when I strip you naked."

"You're so fuckin' considerate," I snort, letting him shove me forward without much resistance. Without any resistance, honestly.

"You gettin' naked in this scenario, or am I on my own with it?"

"Figured it'd be easier if I did too. What do you think?" He pulls up by the side of the bike and unloads the bag strapped to the back.

"We coulda made it work, though. Pretty sure I remember jerking you off in the fucking snow one time."

"Yeah, I actually don't want a repeat performance of that, thanks," I laugh, turning to worm hands up inside his coat, my breath warm on the side of his neck.

"I mean, it was kinda hot, but I could've done without the frostbite on my nuts."

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